Our Monitors

My sister won’t come to Thailand because

of her dislike of snakes.  OK, there are snakes

in Thailand, but the ones I see are usually

dead on the road.  Iridescent green squiggles,

or black rope-like corpses with white under

jaws gone tits-up (if I can say this) that are

baking on the black tar in the hot Thai sun. 

Monitor Lizards, up from Malaysia, are another

thing.  Muscular tails like crocs and talons like

eagles they look formidable, but their small

heads with beady little-eyes crossing the road

in broad daylight make me think of a nursing

home patient – befuddled for a moment - who

has lost his way.

I slow and stop to let this “gator” pass.  A pickup

coming the other way does the same.

What drives these animals to leave the klong

where they are kings and cross the dangerous

black road to the acres of green rice fields

where they are vermin and will be killed if seen?

When the lizard passes, I slowly move on.

In my review mirror as I manually shift up

(second, third, fourth . . .) I see the pickup

wait for the lumbering lizard to cross then

do the same.

FG       8/8/2016

“klong’ is the Thai word for canal.  Here an irrigation canal.

Once driving to a wat down a cement lane big enough for one compact car, we came upon a lizard.  This animal decided to out run us and was as funny to see as a cow trying to run.   Oompah, oompah.  But then he dove into a shallow klong and with his mighty wave-like tail he zoomed under water ahead of us.  At 30 kph, about as fast as you can ride a bike, he was putting distance between us.

We went to the wat for a funeral, but I couldn’t get this hideous, beautiful animal out of my mind.  Halfway through the service a man and woman behind us asked my wife something.   What, I asked as they got up and left.  Wrong wat she said.